Romantic Warfare
by SeungSeiRan
Summary: Add one more to the mix. Squabbling ensues. Hwoarang x Julia x Steve.


_**Woohoo! More love triangle goodies from yours truly. (Waves H/J/S banner high).**_

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Of course, what they were doing now _was _a violation of her privacy. To an outsider, they were no different from those obsessive stalkers who trailed those pretty young things in movies. No better than a certain pig-tailed, hyperactive Chinese girl in their opinion either. From his perch behind the leafy tree branches, the blond lowered his binoculars and glanced sideways at his red-haired companion.

"You know what this is?" he intoned.

"Voyeurism?" the other man replied without putting down his own binoculars.

"No. But almost as bad."

"So you're leaving?" Hwoarang asked with a hopeful air.

To his disappointment, Steve let out a 'hmph' sound and remained put where he was.

Their target looked blissfully unaware as she flicked her braid over a sun-kissed shoulder and gazed serenely at apparently nothing in particular. Simply decked out in a maroon t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, she didn't seem like the type that could easily bring a couple of guys down at her mercy. Definitely not the type that could launch a war between the best of friends.

Right?

"So, Stevie-boy, what's Julia to you?"

Figures. Hwoarang always twisted his name about when he wanted to intimidate him.

"You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine, 'Rang."

Nothing like nick-names to detach yourself from your opponent.

"I asked you first."

"Bugger off."

Satisfied with Steve's annoyance, the Korean once again resumed his spying. He couldn't get enough of the way the sunlight brought out the natural gloss in her dark hair.

"Man, I've never met a woman with hair as great as mine."

"Come on, don't insult the poor girl."

Hwoarang smiled acidly. "Aww, it's okay Steve. It's only natural that birds of a feather flock together."

"Birds of a feather? You and Julia? Ah, you wish."

"What can I say?" Hwoarang ran a hand through his own red locks. "I can appreciate a woman who takes great care of her crowning glory."

"So you've never noticed her eyes? You know, the windows to her soul?" Steve asked innocently. He was met with a suspicious glare.

"Yes, I have." came the terse reply. "Why?"

"Well, 'noticing' is very different from…" the Brit paused, enjoying the look of fearful curiosity on the other's face. "Shall we say, 'gazing'?"

The image that the word provoked sent shivers down Hwoarang's spine.

"You haven't…"

"Maybe, maybe not." the blond teased him. "Still, women love an observant man which, my friend, you aren't quite."

Amused at the Korean's enraged expression, Steve once again picked up his binoculars. Turning the gray knob, he managed to zoom in on the pretty face he sought.

"I like her smile." he muttered softly.

"Yeah."

Hm, at least that was one thing that they could agree on. Hwoarang turned to face his companion.

"Ever wondered what would it be like to kiss her?"

"…Yeah."

"Well, keep wondering."

The Korean would have given almost anything to see a repeat of Steve's reaction at that moment. The sharp turn of his head, the quick intake of air, the narrowing of those blue eyes. Ah, priceless.

"You didn't …"

"Oh, but I did."

"When?" Steve leaned forward as he said this. Much to Hwoarang's chagrin, he didn't fall off the thick branch.

"Forest's Christmas party."

A look of relief settled on Steve's face as he threw his head back and laughed. "That little thing under the mistletoe? On her cheek? She barely even acknowledged you."

"Hey! Do you have any idea how close I was to those lips of hers?" Hwoarang pressed his thumb and index finger together to emphasize his point.

"Dream on, mate."

"And fuck you too."

The silence that ensued reeked of malice and spite. The glinting of the light through the trees and the sweet twittering of the birds only added to the irony of the whole situation. For a while, things began to flow smoothly as the two men began to forget the other existed, so absorbed in their 'observations' were they. Stalkerish as their behavior seemed, there were still a great many things that Julia had managed to keep from them. Women would come and go but they would only be really one in particular that a man remembered. And they weren't always the fast and loose type …

The Native girl stretched out as she stood up revealing a portion of a flat, well-toned abdomen as well as a silver hoop navel-ring. How cute. The latter earned wolf-whistles from her two admirers. Unfortunately, this action only prompted them to remember the other's presence and the sulking was resumed once more.

The general aim of all warfare tactics was to achieve the main goal by removing all threats in sight.

"So, Hwoarang, what do you think of Asuka?"

"Asuka?"

"Mm-hm."

"She's nosy, she's got a nasally voice, and her rack's too big. 'Nuff said."

_Bloody hell. So much for diverting the enemy's attention._

"Hey Steve. Ever thought about Christie?"

"Christie?"

"Yup."

"She's obsessed with Eddy, dresses like a slut, and her rack's too big. I rest my case."

_Damn it. So much for distractions._

There was still one more option remaining.

"Xiaoyu?" they both questioned each other at the same time. The aghast looks on both faces should have served well as an answer.

"No way – "

"You gotta be kidding – "

"She wears friggin' pig-tails – "

" – totally flat as a board – "

" – annoying as hell – "

" – and not enough brains to fill a teaspoon."

" – pure pedophilia."

In that moment, the glass wall between them shattered with the silence as they both burst into laughter. Wiping away the tears of mirth from his eyes, Steve wondered out loud.

"So, just what _is _it about Julia?"

Hwoarang leaned back against the base of his branch so that back rested on the main trunk. "Search me, Steve. Search Wikipedia or any damn book you like. But I guarantee," he picked up the binoculars once more. "We're not gonna get any answers."

"Was it just me or was that the closest thing to philosophy that ever fell from your mouth?"

Without waiting for an answer, Steve returned to his own … 'bird-watching'.

It needed to be said. The girl was beautiful. If you liked the all-natural, Pocahontas type anyway. Which they both hadn't considered until now. What could it be? The long, dark hair? The not-quite-shy smile? The subtle curves lurking beneath the denim? Her surprisingly good sense of humor? That amazingly introspective part of her that got them every time?

Yeah, she was beautiful. From the sunlit warmth of her skin to the internal warmth of her own heart.

"She said she liked my jacket."

It was silly, petty thing to mention but the thought of losing her reignited Hwoarang's competitive spirit. Not that Steve was going to make it any easier for him.

"She said she liked my shirt."

"My jacket's still cooler."

"Sure, sure."

"I beat you at running."

"I beat you at chess."

"I'm a better athlete."

"I'm a better gamer."

"You're a horrible singer."

"You're a sore loser."

"You cheat at snooker."

"You cheat at Snakes 'n' Ladders."

"You hate dogs."

"You hate cats."

They both paused for oxygen. Nothing like a few hard stares and a good ol' rivalry between friends to send the heart-beat racing for the finish line. If sparks of animosity could really fly then the tree would already have been set ablaze.

However, what they next saw through the spying devices managed to douse even the most intense of hate vibes.

"Look. Five meters from her."

"Next to the bush?"

"Yeah. It's – "

" – Kazama!"

Sure enough, the sight of the spiky-haired Japanese standing innocently yet far too close to Julia was enough to send them both scrambling from their hiding-place down to the soft green grass below.

But this was still a competition, reunited as they were in their current objective.

"Hey, Fox! First one there get's to ask her out!"

"So I guess I'll be seeing you then." the Brit replied with a smirk before shoving the red-head to the ground and then taking off.

"What the – " the Korean spluttered as he tasted soil. Quickly regaining his bearings, he managed to steadily close the gap between himself and Steve by means of athletic prowess.

"Not if I see you first."

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**Well, there you have it. The Tekken version of 'There's something about Mary' minus all the cool, wacky gags. I swear, I wish I could remake that movie if only Namco lent me their characters. Anyways, silly as it was, I hope you enjoyed it. Ciao – Ran.**

**P.S. I have nothing personal against Asuka and Christie. In fact, I absolutely adore them. But it's all in the name of comedy, so don't flame please. As for the part with Xiaoyu,… eh, never mind.**


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